I hurt my back. It hurt so much I lay in bed crying because I couldn't move. I am such a wimp. But it kept spasming when I moved my arms or legs, tried to pick Violet up, tried to stand, get out of bed, whatever. The doctor said I've damaged the ligaments, which is apparently very common in that first year because of the way they soften during pregnancy.

My teeth have gone to crap, partly because I have less calcium in my body I guess, but also because I keep forgetting to clean them, being awake at such random hours.

Nearly lost it at the weekend. The crying was getting to be too much. She was stressing me out which was stressing her out. I had to go to my mothers, hand her over, say let me go back to bed, please. I think someone will be coming round to check I'm okay. They're pretty good here at keeping an eye on new mothers.

Anyway, apart from all this I have this slight 'nesting' sensation I never had before. I always wanted to live out of a suitcase, move from flat to house to flat. If I could I would have lived in a hotel. I like the impermance of that idea. But now, well, the house must be scrubbed clean (I cleaned my front door [albeit a little half-heartedly]. I never cleaned a front door in my life!) and a nursery created. It's about time she moved from beside my bed to her own room. We're thinking a pale, sunny yellow. Any other ideas? Input? I'd love to fill the walls with pictures and I do have a few handmade things (made by friends). Time for me to get creative in a slightly different way.

Currently Total Recall By Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone, Michael Ironside see related